I'm kinda worried. How do people stand this college thing? I want to submit a college essay I'm proud of but I don't know how now. I mean, my life is interesting and I have lots of ideas of how to go with it... but which one is the best? Which one will capture the me that I know the best? Which one is right? Which one would I want to read about?

The answer is simply: I don't know. How should this story should go? And I know this is a route I have to take myself... it's my decision. I just wished it wasn't so crucial.

I kcufing luv Delta Goodrem's (embarassing last name!) "Born To Try." It's must better than her cover of Angela Via's "I Don't Care" which wasn't as funky or fun as Via's. Goodrem has finally found her niche with "Born To Try," a song full of inspiration where she can really belt out her emotion. It's a great song with beauty and hits really close to home.

"Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love

All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try"

In my world, I believe I am like Delta. I may not accomplish at everything I set out to do or even be any good at them but I tried. Born to try, not born to succeed.
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I had an OK lesson today. Nothing spectacular happened.

That reminds me I should update my site with whatever info I have (which is almost nothing).

I can see it coming back again! The fat! And I know it too because lately it's like I don't even care what I eat. Is that bad? Eating what tastes good rather than what's good for you (that tastes good)?

"When The Lights Go Down" is Faith Hill's amazing nu single. I can't praise it enuf.
EW has t.A.T.u.'s debut coming out next week but I highly doubt it. There's no official word and the album just keeps getting pushed back. It better be in stores December 10th!

I went 2 see the new "Harry Potter" yesterday at the new Edwards. It isn't... that great. :-\ The new theater is nice for Alhambra but it's nothing compared to... say, the United Artists at Cerritos Mall (and that opened years ago!). I guess Alhambra just doesn't have enough room to build stuff. Heck, we don't even have a BOOK STORE anymore. The movie was nice except for these chatterboxes sitting next to us. It also irritated me that ____ (I put that cos we asked a lot of people) didn't take up the offer for the wasted third ticket. Linda could've went if only she came out of that model seminar 5 minutes earlier! ARGH.

Now I can't find my string clippers... I haven't changed strings since, over a year! That's disgusting!

I finally decided to listen to Angie Martinez (axed AI2 judge) since that hook they play on the "Totally Hits 2002" commercial is so catchy. The song is pretty good.

Jo sent me partial lyrics for "Why Isn't That Enough" that I requested. I don't know if lyrics will help me much. I like writing about the singer rather than how the song affected me in reviews and articles. I hoped my essay wasn't free promotion for Jo or something... but at the same time, I thought it was a clever twist (if anyone GOT it after reading it) that the whole objective I mentioned in the conclusion was that I loved spreading the word of good music that deserved to be heard.
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A little thing I've noticed is that... sometimes I come across as arrogrant. It's just a trait. I hope my obsession with expressing myself through screen tees isn't an "arrogrant" thing... If it is, then :-\. 'Cos I love wearing them and I bought myself some nifty Alias wear. I just want to wear what I like. And what I don't like is A&F and GAP clothes. ECK.
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I have to pre-order some "Harry" tickets soon. That reminds me. Time to call up Ally.
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And another thing, how come Landon has such a smooth upper lip in "A Walk?" I don't think that's humanly possible unless they did some great shave or NADs (mmm.. "all natural to snack on!").

Another thing. When I borrow money, I repay it. If you don't f-ing let me, it f-ing pshes me off! Friends don't treat other friends unequally as if someone's a charity case of something. 'Cos I never asked 4 that. I borrowed money that day. Simple as that. I'm repaying so take the money.

Don't let ur pride get in the way. It makes no sense. Even if u do have a job, what is that suppose to mean? We're all minors here and we live off our parents. We're not 25 or anything where we're not getting allowance anymore.

This totally frustrates me.

My essay was dreadful. I let one person read it and she even said it was repetitive and didn't present any info about me.

It's pressured writing like this... where I know the result will be drastic to my life that I can't write well. This essay recalls last Spring's SC-JEA where I had to write about a singer. It's something I could do well generally and it was a topic I revolved around, except I had so much ways to angle the story... In the end, I choked and flopped the article.

I pictured my essay as something deeply personal and vibrant. It would capture the reader into being at Circle of Songs. Too bad, it turned into a mess where it's not even bad. It's just plain confusing and f-ed up.

Oh yeah, I joined a fanlisting for Myra ("Disney chica on the dance floor") and Shane West ("d.a.m.n. sexy"). I never really got what fanlistings were for... but oh well, it's really cool to just be apart of a thing where I can show off a cool icon!

Ok, my essay looked good in my mind, but I can't expand!

All I can remember is that on July 3rd, 2003... listening to Jo Davidson will be imprinted in my mind forever. I just don't know how to tell people how much it meant to me. "Why Isn't That Enough?"

I even have a picture of Jo Davidson in my banner on top (she's the first square, it's a really blurred picture but it looks ok there because it's small) and the picture with Ali and Kit's back.

"Why Isn't That Enough" was a song that I connected with... bc I remember at that time in my life, it was after my junior year.. I felt everything just crumbled onto me. I needed to let go. Be not anybody in the spirit room listening to Angela Ammons. Umm.. ok, I'll get back on the topic. Anyways, the song was about giving all one can possibly give but it just isn't enough. That one person isn't accepted even after all of his/her effort. I felt that way. For various things.

HELP ME! I can't write my freaking essay. It's not that hard but each time I type some bits and pieces, I feel it's so stupid... Argh. This is my one chance, this is my one hit song!

I just sit in front of my comp and I can't write my essay. It's hard. I just want to write the best I can... and this time, it really does matter.

Wish me luck.

I've never really sat down and listened to H & Claire's music except for clips of their singles "The DJ" and "Half a Heart." They were both pointlessly bland which didn't keep my interest. It wasn't that their songs were bad, they just weren't interesting.

Now I'm listening to their new double-A side or something of the cover of "Beauty and The Beast." Did these two just sit down and think "Hmm.. it'll be nice to remake that" because it ain't great. It isn't bad, but their voices just don't compliment the classic.

STEPS should've just stayed together and pleased their fans... but who knows, maybe it wouldn't have been worth it.
The only reason STEPS had a few good songs (like "After The Love Has Gone" and "It's The Way You Make Me Feel") was probably because of Lee.

I know I shouldn't put the blame on anyone... but by golly, I am!

It really irks me that people are like "Eat more! Eat more!" "You're too thin!" Um... I was NORMAL weight and they had to keep saying that so lately, I have not been conscious of what I eat. Gosh, I ate so much junk and I can really tell now that I've gained back whatever summer weight I lost.

Those people are just so damn insecure to say that to me because they can't control what they eat and probably just want to look better than other people so they tell people to eat more.
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Sorry, this was a rant.

If you read one book this winter, make sure it ain't "The Cider House Rules."
It is about 500 pages too long for anyone to stand. I think it is a good book underneath the water down excerpts. It's like someone trying to make a gallon of tea with one Lipton tea bag. You just makin' water with this stuff.

I'm still confused over some app stuff.. and I need to get my !@# workin' on stories.

P.S. Like what I did with the sidebar? I know I do. :0)

"Here I come/Right or not/Move with me/You get me/So hot that I can't stop" - LeAnn Rimes, "Tic Toc"

I'm gonna add this little thing where I show what my wallpaper is. I have S1M0NE (which is pretty old from August) right now so I'm gonna probably change that in the next few minutes! See ya then!

"Life goes by/Who knows why." - Hilary Duff, "I Can't Wait"

Oh yeah, I got my calculator yesterday! It's so cool blue! And it came with a bonus carrying case and all... and it was actually cheaper than buying a normal, plain TI-83 plus at a store. :)

One of my least favorite things is going to a bookstore... with a plan all mapped out and finding out that they don't have a book they're suppose to have. Then I check the database and ask a clerk and they say "Oh, we might have one copy." Either they can't find it or some loser misplaced it. It frustrates me. I rather order the books online but I like visiting book stores so it defeats the purpose of visiting if I don't buy and just browse.

I got some free Tori Amos posters yesterday! Yeah! It's on my wall right now and it's freaking me out because she's just staring back.

I don't know if I can buy "Scarlet's Walk" now because it's not a high priority.
I think I'm going to look forward to t.A.T.u.'s album.
I also became interested in buying Rascal Flatt's "Melt" after the CMAs. I don't like their voices especially on the song "Movin' On" but I love their songs. Good songs, but I wished someone else sung them.

"Frida" is a good movie. I didn't go in with high or low expectations and didn't leave bummed out that I spent the money or surprised that it was a arc de triumph. If anything, go watch "Frida" for the performances (especially Salma Hayek) and vivid portrayl of the interesting life of Frida Kahlo.

On a brighter spot, KZLA's playing Faith Hill's new single "When The Lights Go Down." Yeah! What a great song.