"If perhaps any of you are in an uncertain state about your direction in life, my advice to you is this: no matter how down it makes you feel, don't give up. Just hold onto faith, learn all you can, work hard, and you WILL get there." - Angela Via
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Friday, August 13, 2004
"August 13, 2004"
[Music Jo Davidson, "Bird In The Sky"]
Live like you were dying. I will now. I really will.
Thank you.
[Music Jo Davidson, "Bird In The Sky"]
Live like you were dying. I will now. I really will.
Thank you.
"Jo Davidson"
[Music Kiley Dean, "Who Will I Run To" (new version)]
Jo Davidson is one of my favorite artists; I even named my blog "Mental Pollution" after one of her songs which expresses what I think my mind is going through sometimes. To learn more about Jo and discover her music, check out her official website JoDavidson.com. Her new album "The Simply Said Sessions" is coming out soon, so check out some of the clips she posted up! I already preordered my copy! The songs sound incredible.
I was reading her online diary and a passage really connected to me, especially the last line. I will copy and paste the excerpt; I encourage you to read the full entry at her online journal.
"I sure would love to have all the the answers when it comes to faith, healing, timing, the reasons for everything. We do not know everything now in this world or even control as much as we like to think we do. Not that we are helpless. We co create our lives. To what extent I don't really know. Probably both more and less than we think. Control is a big thing in this country. We think we are always in the driver's seat and everything is in our hands and ours alone. That is not to diminish the power we do have. We love to set our goals, map out our days with determination and force. We like to accomplish accomplish accomplish and often judge ourselves on the latest thing we have produced. And what is left of us when the machine stops? I mean REALLY stops. When the production line comes to a deadening halt? Especially in our "prime" years? What then is our value and worth? It is the hardest thing to face, to have to learn that our worth is not tied to what we create. We are worthy just because God chose to create us."
-Jo Davidson
That line captures why sometimes I, and many others, feel depressed. I feel I'm expendable because I haven't made my mark in the world and I don't know if I ever will. I love that line. "...our worth is not tied to what we create. We are worthy just because God chose to create us."
Jo is battling CFIDS (Chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome) and us fans know she is going to win. I know she's strong and a fighter! She is an amazingly talented and kind person who has shared so much through her music and words with her fans. I'm sending my hopes and prayers 110% through to her. You're the best, Jo!
[Music Kiley Dean, "Who Will I Run To" (new version)]
Jo Davidson is one of my favorite artists; I even named my blog "Mental Pollution" after one of her songs which expresses what I think my mind is going through sometimes. To learn more about Jo and discover her music, check out her official website JoDavidson.com. Her new album "The Simply Said Sessions" is coming out soon, so check out some of the clips she posted up! I already preordered my copy! The songs sound incredible.
I was reading her online diary and a passage really connected to me, especially the last line. I will copy and paste the excerpt; I encourage you to read the full entry at her online journal.
"I sure would love to have all the the answers when it comes to faith, healing, timing, the reasons for everything. We do not know everything now in this world or even control as much as we like to think we do. Not that we are helpless. We co create our lives. To what extent I don't really know. Probably both more and less than we think. Control is a big thing in this country. We think we are always in the driver's seat and everything is in our hands and ours alone. That is not to diminish the power we do have. We love to set our goals, map out our days with determination and force. We like to accomplish accomplish accomplish and often judge ourselves on the latest thing we have produced. And what is left of us when the machine stops? I mean REALLY stops. When the production line comes to a deadening halt? Especially in our "prime" years? What then is our value and worth? It is the hardest thing to face, to have to learn that our worth is not tied to what we create. We are worthy just because God chose to create us."
-Jo Davidson
That line captures why sometimes I, and many others, feel depressed. I feel I'm expendable because I haven't made my mark in the world and I don't know if I ever will. I love that line. "...our worth is not tied to what we create. We are worthy just because God chose to create us."
Jo is battling CFIDS (Chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome) and us fans know she is going to win. I know she's strong and a fighter! She is an amazingly talented and kind person who has shared so much through her music and words with her fans. I'm sending my hopes and prayers 110% through to her. You're the best, Jo!
Thursday, August 12, 2004
"The Raw Egg Goes In The Soup"
[Music Jenny Hyun, "Jenny Hyun Sophisticated"]
Whenever anyone goes out with their friends, they're hoping to create memories which last. They can't force things to happen for the sake of imprinting them in history; they just have to let things occur as they do.
Last night was one of those times. It was memorable to the extreme (<- that's bad wording, but oh well).
Originally, Helen, Ali, and I planned to dine out at Benihana's or The Cheesecake Factory. It was going to be a simple dinner with good food and conversation. It was sort of our parting with summer before our second college year comes around. I'm leaving in a week so it was fitting to finally find a night when the three of us were free.
As time would have it, we got out of the door around 8 p.m. It was way too late to try to get a seat at the Cheesecake Factory (packed like always). Soda Jerks didn't seem fitting and it was too early in the night to settle on that. Thankfully, Helen suggested we go to Korean town. I would've thought the place was closed, but it wasn't. I had to even call up my mom to make sure we got the right directions to get there from the Pasadena FWY.
When we got to the shopping center, only the market in the mall was opened. In the parking lot, a chica gave us one nasty glare for almost backing out into her. Ali backed up and parked right next to her. We sorta glared right back. Rude, but oh yeah, it felt good.
It was hilarious when someone (no names) wiped out the white board. A sushi platter for $11.95 soon become $1.95 and eventually $.95.
By then, it was late and our tummies were growling. Where to in Korean town? In the back of my mind, I hoped we wouldn't have to drive back and settle on Noodle World or Planet. That would be gross.
It was like a sign. We parked in a random parking lot and found the 24 hour BCD Tofu House. So clean, so hip, so off-da-hook, so kewl, so good. That place just plain rocks because we had no idea what to do.
First off, they have these little buzzer things on the table. The waiteress said something to use in Korean and pointed to the button. We had no idea what she said or what it was. I said it might be a buzzer to settle the waiteress to come to our table; sort of like airplane service. Ali gave me a "No way!" and pushed the button like mad, "Service! service! service!" Our mouths formed a wide "O" when we heard the bell sound and the waiteress zoomed to our table ready to take our order. We couldn't stop laughing when we told her we weren't ready. On top of this awkward situation, she just handled our menus like 5 seconds before we pressed the button. :-)
Anyway, I ordered the seaweed soju tofu or something. I got "Spicy 1" or something.. I had no idea. I asked if there was meat in it and the lady said "...medium spicy, spicy 1" and I said, confused, "Spicy." Helen and Ali ordered a chicken combination and a tofu and vegetable salad combination, respectfully. Within a minute, our appetizers, cabbages and raw eggs, were delivered to our tables. We weren't sure what the raw eggs were for. At first, we even thought they were boiled eggs but smart Helen did this spinning thing with them and explained that boiled eggs don't spin. News to me!
Our hot rice bowls were also delivered. This was the funniest moment of the night. We laughed so hard after our mistake our bellies hurt and the whole restaurant must've been looking at us and the table ajoining us were probably like "Are these kids drunk?" I lifted the top of a rice pot and ouch! I dropped it right back, it was caliente! Then, we started moving the HOT rice pots around so each was in front of us. They were heavy, hot, and dangerous. We started saying that maybe we were suppose to crack the eggs over the steaming rice. Ali and Helen even used their napkins to lift the HOT rice pot top. At the moment, the waiter saw us and rushed right back and took the rice pots away from in front of us! It was dangerous and the restaurant didn't want to be slapped with a lawsuit cos dumb kids like us didn't know how to eat it!
After our rice was scooped (is that the right verb?) for us, the lady came with a pitcher of water. Helen thought it was to refill her glass of ice water so she said "Thank you!" Instead, the lady poured the water into the hot rice pots. We were like "eh..?"
New food and bowls were delivered to our table and we were dumbfounded. We kept waiting until Helen asked "This is all the food?" just to make sure were weren't eating it wrong with their ultra thin, but oh-so-cool, metal chopsticks. We didn't know what the eggs were for. The waiter finally told us we could crack an egg into our spicy tofu soups if we wanted to. My tofu soup was near cold by then but I still cracked one in! It cooked well because it was still very hot underneath the surface.
After like 15 minutes, the waiteress came back and scooped out the watered soaked rice pots. Helen and Ali used the extra bowls they gave us for sharing salad. Honestly, we had no idea what those extra tin bowls were for except for eating appetizers or sharing food. Instead, we found out they were for putting the "congee"-like now-sticky rice. The lady had to bring us two extra clean bowls and she didn't laugh at us either! hehe.. We were so out of place that you could see the words "culture shock" written around our foreheads. By then, we were full so we couldn't eat the "congee"-like rice even though it was good and had a nice texture.
This night was so extreme because everything was so new to us. The food and service was good.. and the place had a great vibe. It was one of the best nights I'd had in ages. It was so extreme, so crazy, so new, so fresh, so exciting, so funny, I felt I was on a nature high.
Oh yeah, I must not forget the waiter gave us our check early because the "shift change." It was kinda weird, but we paid nonetheless. We weren't sure if they thought us loud laughing teens wouldn't pay or if this was part of their culture. Later, we found out the place was opened 24 hours! Crazy. This is definitely a place I would return to with friends.
Since I forgot my digital camera and we all wanted pictures, Helen suggested we go to those photo booths. Surprisingly, the old Life Plaza photo booth place was still open as late as 10:30pm. We got some wacky poses and pictures. Those machines are in Japanese so we always mess up. On one pic, we had the just ONE name written on the bottom; "Ken." That was kinda embarassing, but the photo came out lovely. The other pictures had good poses but we screwed around with designing it. Helen designed and colored me into an albino prostitute in one pic.. it was sooooo weird! White skin, weird pose, and ruby red lips. I looked soooooo "hott" as Ali put it. ;-)
So this was a great night. This is what friends are for. Just this one night made my summer at home worth it. Thank you, fine friends.
Oh yeah -- before I forget, I got a haircut yesterday too. I got Felicia to cut my hair again and she works wonders. The way she cuts my hair and styles it really gives me confidence. Even if others don't like it, I like it and that's the bottom line. From now on, she's the only stylist I trust. Shame I'll have to let someone else handle my hair up at college!
Well, that's all. Peace and good night!
[Music Jenny Hyun, "Jenny Hyun Sophisticated"]
Whenever anyone goes out with their friends, they're hoping to create memories which last. They can't force things to happen for the sake of imprinting them in history; they just have to let things occur as they do.
Last night was one of those times. It was memorable to the extreme (<- that's bad wording, but oh well).
Originally, Helen, Ali, and I planned to dine out at Benihana's or The Cheesecake Factory. It was going to be a simple dinner with good food and conversation. It was sort of our parting with summer before our second college year comes around. I'm leaving in a week so it was fitting to finally find a night when the three of us were free.
As time would have it, we got out of the door around 8 p.m. It was way too late to try to get a seat at the Cheesecake Factory (packed like always). Soda Jerks didn't seem fitting and it was too early in the night to settle on that. Thankfully, Helen suggested we go to Korean town. I would've thought the place was closed, but it wasn't. I had to even call up my mom to make sure we got the right directions to get there from the Pasadena FWY.
When we got to the shopping center, only the market in the mall was opened. In the parking lot, a chica gave us one nasty glare for almost backing out into her. Ali backed up and parked right next to her. We sorta glared right back. Rude, but oh yeah, it felt good.
It was hilarious when someone (no names) wiped out the white board. A sushi platter for $11.95 soon become $1.95 and eventually $.95.
By then, it was late and our tummies were growling. Where to in Korean town? In the back of my mind, I hoped we wouldn't have to drive back and settle on Noodle World or Planet. That would be gross.
It was like a sign. We parked in a random parking lot and found the 24 hour BCD Tofu House. So clean, so hip, so off-da-hook, so kewl, so good. That place just plain rocks because we had no idea what to do.
First off, they have these little buzzer things on the table. The waiteress said something to use in Korean and pointed to the button. We had no idea what she said or what it was. I said it might be a buzzer to settle the waiteress to come to our table; sort of like airplane service. Ali gave me a "No way!" and pushed the button like mad, "Service! service! service!" Our mouths formed a wide "O" when we heard the bell sound and the waiteress zoomed to our table ready to take our order. We couldn't stop laughing when we told her we weren't ready. On top of this awkward situation, she just handled our menus like 5 seconds before we pressed the button. :-)
Anyway, I ordered the seaweed soju tofu or something. I got "Spicy 1" or something.. I had no idea. I asked if there was meat in it and the lady said "...medium spicy, spicy 1" and I said, confused, "Spicy." Helen and Ali ordered a chicken combination and a tofu and vegetable salad combination, respectfully. Within a minute, our appetizers, cabbages and raw eggs, were delivered to our tables. We weren't sure what the raw eggs were for. At first, we even thought they were boiled eggs but smart Helen did this spinning thing with them and explained that boiled eggs don't spin. News to me!
Our hot rice bowls were also delivered. This was the funniest moment of the night. We laughed so hard after our mistake our bellies hurt and the whole restaurant must've been looking at us and the table ajoining us were probably like "Are these kids drunk?" I lifted the top of a rice pot and ouch! I dropped it right back, it was caliente! Then, we started moving the HOT rice pots around so each was in front of us. They were heavy, hot, and dangerous. We started saying that maybe we were suppose to crack the eggs over the steaming rice. Ali and Helen even used their napkins to lift the HOT rice pot top. At the moment, the waiter saw us and rushed right back and took the rice pots away from in front of us! It was dangerous and the restaurant didn't want to be slapped with a lawsuit cos dumb kids like us didn't know how to eat it!
After our rice was scooped (is that the right verb?) for us, the lady came with a pitcher of water. Helen thought it was to refill her glass of ice water so she said "Thank you!" Instead, the lady poured the water into the hot rice pots. We were like "eh..?"
New food and bowls were delivered to our table and we were dumbfounded. We kept waiting until Helen asked "This is all the food?" just to make sure were weren't eating it wrong with their ultra thin, but oh-so-cool, metal chopsticks. We didn't know what the eggs were for. The waiter finally told us we could crack an egg into our spicy tofu soups if we wanted to. My tofu soup was near cold by then but I still cracked one in! It cooked well because it was still very hot underneath the surface.
After like 15 minutes, the waiteress came back and scooped out the watered soaked rice pots. Helen and Ali used the extra bowls they gave us for sharing salad. Honestly, we had no idea what those extra tin bowls were for except for eating appetizers or sharing food. Instead, we found out they were for putting the "congee"-like now-sticky rice. The lady had to bring us two extra clean bowls and she didn't laugh at us either! hehe.. We were so out of place that you could see the words "culture shock" written around our foreheads. By then, we were full so we couldn't eat the "congee"-like rice even though it was good and had a nice texture.
This night was so extreme because everything was so new to us. The food and service was good.. and the place had a great vibe. It was one of the best nights I'd had in ages. It was so extreme, so crazy, so new, so fresh, so exciting, so funny, I felt I was on a nature high.
Oh yeah, I must not forget the waiter gave us our check early because the "shift change." It was kinda weird, but we paid nonetheless. We weren't sure if they thought us loud laughing teens wouldn't pay or if this was part of their culture. Later, we found out the place was opened 24 hours! Crazy. This is definitely a place I would return to with friends.
Since I forgot my digital camera and we all wanted pictures, Helen suggested we go to those photo booths. Surprisingly, the old Life Plaza photo booth place was still open as late as 10:30pm. We got some wacky poses and pictures. Those machines are in Japanese so we always mess up. On one pic, we had the just ONE name written on the bottom; "Ken." That was kinda embarassing, but the photo came out lovely. The other pictures had good poses but we screwed around with designing it. Helen designed and colored me into an albino prostitute in one pic.. it was sooooo weird! White skin, weird pose, and ruby red lips. I looked soooooo "hott" as Ali put it. ;-)
So this was a great night. This is what friends are for. Just this one night made my summer at home worth it. Thank you, fine friends.
Oh yeah -- before I forget, I got a haircut yesterday too. I got Felicia to cut my hair again and she works wonders. The way she cuts my hair and styles it really gives me confidence. Even if others don't like it, I like it and that's the bottom line. From now on, she's the only stylist I trust. Shame I'll have to let someone else handle my hair up at college!
Well, that's all. Peace and good night!
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
"Summer Things"
[Music The Corrs feat/ Bono, "When The Stars Go Blue"]
So I didn't blog as much of the things I did this summer.. lemme jolt it down so it's not forgotten. These are just a few of the things I did this summer!
1. Chilled w/ Lyndsay. Yep, I got to hang out with kewl Lyndsay, my old Entertainment co-editor. We went to Color Me Mine and painted. That place is definitely a nice, therapeutic environment. I painted a fish and Lyndsay painted a star box. I hope her star came out alright. Mine was cute! She invited me to go with her kewl "high school senior" buddies to watch "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" at the World Premiere! That is definitely an event I won't forget! My first movie Premiere! :) It was thrilling to be so close to celebrities like John Cho, Will from "Alias," and Eddie Kaye Thomas! I was just really happy to be able to see her again and catch up. Thanks for the Blue Moon zine.
2. Went back to the Rialto. I love that theater. I hope it never closes. I went to watch the below average "A Home At The End Of The World." Granted, I never read the book, I still thought it was a disappointment. The movie was very uneven despite some memorable scenes and performances. The theater has a great feel, down to the uncomfortable seats. I love the atmosphere. It gives me a sense of elation. There weren't many people in the audience with me.. I hope the theater is still rolling enough dough to stay open.
3. Miniature golfing. It was fun to try miniature golfing with Danh and Ali. It got old fast. I haven't done this in a long time... It was fun though I wouldn't go again anytime soon.
4. OC Fair. I got food poisoned at the OC fair, but it was still hella fun. Helen took me there and we went on quite a few rides. The rides were dangerous, which is why people probably find fair rides so thrilling. It's like, you're paying for the chance to get killed. Okay, that was bad wording. Whatever you guys do, don't eat the Australian Battered Potatoes and down it with lemonade. You might be food poisoned for days!
5. Garden State. I hate the Laemmle for not giving free parking, but I like the theater for its classy, indie-movie feel. Clay took me to go see this awesome movie. At first, I was hesitant because I'm not a fan of the "Garden State" poster nor have I watched a single episode of "Scrubs." Still, I heard good things of the movie and Natalie Portman so a large part of myself wanted to watch it. Thank goodness because I loved it... it was great. Definitely a movie to watch in your 20s to inspire yourself.
6. Went To PCC for Summer School. I dunno what else to post. The end.
[Music The Corrs feat/ Bono, "When The Stars Go Blue"]
So I didn't blog as much of the things I did this summer.. lemme jolt it down so it's not forgotten. These are just a few of the things I did this summer!
1. Chilled w/ Lyndsay. Yep, I got to hang out with kewl Lyndsay, my old Entertainment co-editor. We went to Color Me Mine and painted. That place is definitely a nice, therapeutic environment. I painted a fish and Lyndsay painted a star box. I hope her star came out alright. Mine was cute! She invited me to go with her kewl "high school senior" buddies to watch "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" at the World Premiere! That is definitely an event I won't forget! My first movie Premiere! :) It was thrilling to be so close to celebrities like John Cho, Will from "Alias," and Eddie Kaye Thomas! I was just really happy to be able to see her again and catch up. Thanks for the Blue Moon zine.
2. Went back to the Rialto. I love that theater. I hope it never closes. I went to watch the below average "A Home At The End Of The World." Granted, I never read the book, I still thought it was a disappointment. The movie was very uneven despite some memorable scenes and performances. The theater has a great feel, down to the uncomfortable seats. I love the atmosphere. It gives me a sense of elation. There weren't many people in the audience with me.. I hope the theater is still rolling enough dough to stay open.
3. Miniature golfing. It was fun to try miniature golfing with Danh and Ali. It got old fast. I haven't done this in a long time... It was fun though I wouldn't go again anytime soon.
4. OC Fair. I got food poisoned at the OC fair, but it was still hella fun. Helen took me there and we went on quite a few rides. The rides were dangerous, which is why people probably find fair rides so thrilling. It's like, you're paying for the chance to get killed. Okay, that was bad wording. Whatever you guys do, don't eat the Australian Battered Potatoes and down it with lemonade. You might be food poisoned for days!
5. Garden State. I hate the Laemmle for not giving free parking, but I like the theater for its classy, indie-movie feel. Clay took me to go see this awesome movie. At first, I was hesitant because I'm not a fan of the "Garden State" poster nor have I watched a single episode of "Scrubs." Still, I heard good things of the movie and Natalie Portman so a large part of myself wanted to watch it. Thank goodness because I loved it... it was great. Definitely a movie to watch in your 20s to inspire yourself.
6. Went To PCC for Summer School. I dunno what else to post. The end.
"Mental Pollution"
[Music Vanessa Carlton, "White Houses"]
I succeeded finish "The Bell Jar" on my 4th attempt. Boy, am I glad. It's one of the best literature I've read. I love all her vivid details. I love all the descriptions. I love how Sylvia Plath lets us inside parts of Esther's crazy mind. At times, I become so engross by the story, I see myself in Esther. The world is a bad dream at times.
Lately, I've felt like I was suffocating. I still do. Like I'm trapped, inhaling the stale air, and not sure what to do with my life. I hated everything. I hated the way my parents talked to me. I hated the interactions with friends. I hated the idea of life after college. I hated how a certain person lead me on and then abandoned me. I hated when I gave you control, let my vulnerabilities open, you left me high and dry. I hated when ex-friends keep digging up the past and won't let me erase all bad stuff away. I hated being nice and inviting people to a day of fun only to have them come back and question your intentions. I hated all the pressure of the pressure cooker. I hated how my hair fell. I hated how I stopped going to the gym just to be narcissistic for who? I hated reassuring and comforting you because that's what I want to hear too when I just wanted to say, "I agree, the world is a sucky place."
I've often wonder why we must suffer through life with so much bad than good. That's why I think bringing children into this world is a selfish act.
I feel like I'm in my twenties right now, thinking like a twentysomething about how confused I am with what direction to take which will pave the way for my future. It sounds like the depressing Buffy season. I sound like Jamie Cullum lyrics. I sound like I'm ahead of my time, trying to figure out my wasteland/second coming-of-age before it happens so I can figure out how to avoid it.
This post was utterly pointless. It probably doesn't mean anything at all. But I just had to let it all out.
[Music Vanessa Carlton, "White Houses"]
I succeeded finish "The Bell Jar" on my 4th attempt. Boy, am I glad. It's one of the best literature I've read. I love all her vivid details. I love all the descriptions. I love how Sylvia Plath lets us inside parts of Esther's crazy mind. At times, I become so engross by the story, I see myself in Esther. The world is a bad dream at times.
Lately, I've felt like I was suffocating. I still do. Like I'm trapped, inhaling the stale air, and not sure what to do with my life. I hated everything. I hated the way my parents talked to me. I hated the interactions with friends. I hated the idea of life after college. I hated how a certain person lead me on and then abandoned me. I hated when I gave you control, let my vulnerabilities open, you left me high and dry. I hated when ex-friends keep digging up the past and won't let me erase all bad stuff away. I hated being nice and inviting people to a day of fun only to have them come back and question your intentions. I hated all the pressure of the pressure cooker. I hated how my hair fell. I hated how I stopped going to the gym just to be narcissistic for who? I hated reassuring and comforting you because that's what I want to hear too when I just wanted to say, "I agree, the world is a sucky place."
I've often wonder why we must suffer through life with so much bad than good. That's why I think bringing children into this world is a selfish act.
I feel like I'm in my twenties right now, thinking like a twentysomething about how confused I am with what direction to take which will pave the way for my future. It sounds like the depressing Buffy season. I sound like Jamie Cullum lyrics. I sound like I'm ahead of my time, trying to figure out my wasteland/second coming-of-age before it happens so I can figure out how to avoid it.
This post was utterly pointless. It probably doesn't mean anything at all. But I just had to let it all out.
