"Powerless (Say Whatcha Want)"
[Music || Ashanti featuring Ja Rule, Charli Baltimore... "Rain On Me" (Remix)]
I'm nervous. I have everything prepared. Public transporation, don't fail me tomorrow. I need to be on time. I'm nervous about everything yet excited. Butterflies in my tummy don't lie.

Wish me luck. And have a happy holiday to you too. It feels so weird to return back to home sweet home after months... All I can do is sign, "ahh.."

The title of this Post is really about how powerless I am to have control over fate. In some ways, I do believe in this. I don't know, let's see how the cards are dealt tomorrow. Peace out.

"The Power Is Not Mine (The Ball Is Not In My Court)"
[Music || Lucy Woodward, "Standing"]
I can't let go of a relationship I care so deeply for. Why can't I take the signs and just throw it away? My heart won't let me. I won't let myself, not until it is finalized. Why am I so weak in this dire situation?

I poured my feelings out. I tried to amend what was wrong. Was it something I done? Tell me how I, we, can fix this. I hope I am not the bastard like an old friend was to me; I don't think the strain of this relationship is because we don't like each other. It is, but rather it is the affect of distance and time.

Why is it that you shut me out when I try to help amend this, when I try to keep us staying strong together. You didn't return my calls or as much reply to what my heart had to say.

Do you remember the times when we were so strong together we could fight down everything that came before us? Or was that just my imagination? I don't understand what went wrong.

Maybe this will make us both stronger, but right now, I am blindsided.. I can only see the black & white, I don't want to see down the line. And right now, I care for you.

The thing that hurts the most in this world is rejection. Maybe this time, it's come to my round.

I have tried. Are you moving on? Before you do so, I am going to try once more. This time when distance is no longer a factor. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I will be standing alone in the end.

It hurts that I let my guard down. Maybe what we both need is time. But time for what, that is the question.

As The Corrs put it, "What can I do?" I've should learned by now, the power is not mine...