"One Week"
[Music Sara Evans, "Restless" album]
This week, I've been contemplating about next week. As Brandy stated, "Should I stay, or should I go, either way, I'm in control."
I don't know what to do about next week so I'm going to write out the pros and cons.
Pros about going back home:
1. My brain is a bit fried right now from Winter session. I really do need a break.
2. I want to see my family. People postpone things all the time until it's too late. I will see if we can go on a short trip to somewhere. I've been thinking, I'm growing up so fast and rushing through college that pretty soon, I'll be completely seperated from my family as I go into the unknown. Does it have to come so soon? I have to slow it down.
3. I honestly don't know what's going on with my friend. It's hot and cold. But regardless, I want to be there to celebrate her birthday because she has been an awesome friend to me this year.
Cons:
1. I fall behind a semester.
2. Remember a year ago when I pressured myself to follow Amy's style and do everything I can to be successful? Yeah, staying here means I put myself on the right track. However, right now I'm thinking, what's with the rush? Why am I dying to finish faster? I have to learn, it isn't a race. I need a break after my previous semester.
3. It puts my spring schedule into jeopardy with only taking maybe 4 classes. FOUR classes is too little for me. But why? Yes, I have to learn, it isn't a race. But I just can't help myself. I want to finish it ASAP... but why? The race doesn't end when I finish college, you know, I'll have to find a job which means climbing the corporate ladder.
Anyway, what's my decision? I don't know.
I'm afraid there may be no reason to go back home. I'm afraid I'm driving myself into a nervous breakdown, turning what use to be fun into an obligation.
It may seem like ONE week, but it's a lot more. A LOT more. I'm afraid of going home for nothing. My drive won't let me. At the same time, I wonder if I'm neglecting the more important things in life.
"What do you do, where do you go
When nowhere feels like home?
I'm restless"
Plug: Happy birthday Angela Ammons!
