"Reflections 2006"
[Music Nick Lachey, "Resolution (Acoustic)"]

I am afraid once again. I use to be afraid of my popularity status and grades in school. Now much of that is in the past. I never knew all the time I said "I hate school," how scary it is without it.

I do not have a safety net now. I have to decide what I want to do with my life. I have to make decisions. I have to face fears.

These thoughts have been revolving around my head lately...

I don't know who I can call a friend. I don't know if a friend is someone who flakes out on you, someone who is there but you have nothing in common with, or just people who agree to go out with you. I don't know who I can trust and who I can rely on. I don't know why I have to make things so complicated.

Am I looking for love or companionship? There are three aspects to Sternberg's triangle of love. Right now, I am looking most for companionship. Another quip I have is not being able to love limitlessly. Why must I have boundaries I can't rid of. Only when I can accept everyone, might I find peace though I doubt that will ever happen.

At least, I am not enclosing my heart. I am trying even if they are little steps. For this, I am proud of myself.

Finding who you are is a journey that takes lifetime indeed.