[Listening to Delta Goodrem, "Throw It Away"]
Today I drove. For a little bit. Anyways, progress is progress. Olivia still isn't home yet. I guess I have to go to Garfield without her tomorrow. Hope she's having a fun vacation (not so sunny though since SF isn't sunny at all). Anyways, I drove to return my videos but I went past the traffic light which scarred me.
I walked down to check it out.. there were two people there playing a guitar. I had to look like I was doing something. So I walked down looking at the traffic light while crossing the street. So, not to look stupid or anything, I checked out the time schedule of the museum and I walked back.. this time standing under the traffic light which "flashed." I didn't see anything wrong with it. I couldn't see any big chunky boxes. These cameras must be more high tech than I thought. Or it was all my own mind's playing tricks on myself.
Anyways, today at dinner, I was full. But some people have hidden agendas or misconceptions or whatever the fuck is wrong with them.. that for a FEW seconds, I was literally near tears when they sort of coerced me to eat another slice. It probably was a light hearted joke but I guess I didn't see it that way when words pluck certain chords, you know? I said no. I am old enough to decide for myself. Then there's this talk about how I have an eating disorder and that I'm deliberately "not eating another slice" because I forced myself not to. I was so fucking pissed that I was near tears. I was full and it was not their body. I eat when I'm hungry and I stop when I'm fucking full. It's not a big deal.. and at the time, it wasn't a big deal because I didn't want to make a scene (and good thing I didn't, cos I don't want to be selfish and make a big comotion over something small). Anyways, I just don't like it when there's nothing wrong with me. I just don't want someone to force me to do something I don't want. And I surely don't want to vomit.
It's just that many people have said that to me at one point or another... and I just didn't expect it from a friend.
Today I drove. For a little bit. Anyways, progress is progress. Olivia still isn't home yet. I guess I have to go to Garfield without her tomorrow. Hope she's having a fun vacation (not so sunny though since SF isn't sunny at all). Anyways, I drove to return my videos but I went past the traffic light which scarred me.
I walked down to check it out.. there were two people there playing a guitar. I had to look like I was doing something. So I walked down looking at the traffic light while crossing the street. So, not to look stupid or anything, I checked out the time schedule of the museum and I walked back.. this time standing under the traffic light which "flashed." I didn't see anything wrong with it. I couldn't see any big chunky boxes. These cameras must be more high tech than I thought. Or it was all my own mind's playing tricks on myself.
Anyways, today at dinner, I was full. But some people have hidden agendas or misconceptions or whatever the fuck is wrong with them.. that for a FEW seconds, I was literally near tears when they sort of coerced me to eat another slice. It probably was a light hearted joke but I guess I didn't see it that way when words pluck certain chords, you know? I said no. I am old enough to decide for myself. Then there's this talk about how I have an eating disorder and that I'm deliberately "not eating another slice" because I forced myself not to. I was so fucking pissed that I was near tears. I was full and it was not their body. I eat when I'm hungry and I stop when I'm fucking full. It's not a big deal.. and at the time, it wasn't a big deal because I didn't want to make a scene (and good thing I didn't, cos I don't want to be selfish and make a big comotion over something small). Anyways, I just don't like it when there's nothing wrong with me. I just don't want someone to force me to do something I don't want. And I surely don't want to vomit.
It's just that many people have said that to me at one point or another... and I just didn't expect it from a friend.
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