I loved your memo, btw...

''It's not a memo, it's a mission statement.''

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

"Innocence Lost"
[Music || Stephen Gately, "If Only You Were Here"]
Today, I made up my mind -- I was going to make it on my own. It irritated me that my mom thought I didn't know how to get around the city. I've only told her bits and pieces of my life, but she thought she could connect the dots. Too bad, her sharing how much she knew about my life to relatives is only going to draw me further away from her. Now I'm withholding more of my life from her. I have this issue with trust and how much I am willing to tell someone about my mundane life.

I mapped it out and made my way to the nearest Best Buy after English class. I didn't anticipate the walk was actually very far. After taking the bus, I walked through slum streets and I fear crept up my spine. I was alone, without a cell phone (foolish me), in a strange part of town. There were dark alley ways and soon, I reached a point where there was no shops on the street except for a dark factory. Homeless people wandered the sidewalks and I didn't take any chances, edging away from them. The streets were paved with puddles under the recent gloomy, gray sky. I could've turned back but I was headstrong and naive, thinking of my DVD sets rather than safety: I was going to climb this mountain.

I had to walk through strange neighborhoods, with run-down shops and strange hobos, to make it to Best Buy. And finally, after 45 minutes or so, suffocating in my warm sweater and jacket, I saw this small Best Buy right by the freeway. After handing my backpack to the workers in the front of the store to hold, I looked around and saw how tiny it was compared to the Best Buys I'm accustomed to (The CD sections were squished together!). I made up my mind I had to get in and buy my two "Alias" DVD sets and get out -- the clock was ticking and darkness was befalling.

Un garcon! The cashier line was horrendous. However, it must be the same back home since it's the holiday seasons. My back ached as I walked back to the bus station with my backpack overstuffed with the DVD sets. I must be paranoid because I thought any moment, some bum was going to snatch my backpack or demand I hand over my wallet. I walked fast, racing against the sunset. Another 45 minutes later, it was dark when I made it to that station at nearly 5:00 p.m.

I feel like I'm growing up fast suddenly. I mean, I have to depend on myself now and that means I have to plan things out and fend for myself. I thought it was crazy that back home, I would've never thought about being mugged when I wanted to visit Best Buy. Now, I have to walk several blocks from a bus station in a strange neighborhood.

I have yet to watch the "Alias" DVD sets, but it was a good thing I bought them at a low price ($15 off when you buy both Season 1 and 2 this week). I'll probably watch a couple episodes inbetween Finals Week studying breaks.

Wish me luck.

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