"Morals"
[Music Shane Nicholson, "Designed To Fade" (Live)]
What the hell are morals for? Do I really care if my friends look down on me or don't want to talk to me again?
I've been thinking. Why can't I fuck like a slut? Why can't I drink myself to death and barf on my room mate's bed sheets? Why can't I become a druggie? Why can't I live life dangerously, carelessly, recklessly, hopelessly?
That is not who I want to be, but am I missing out on something for being so damn uptight that I won't even smoke a fucking cigarette? That I won't drink an ounce of vodka at the moment? That I won't just fucking give up my virginity (or did I already)?
I don't understand why I have these morals anymore. They don't make me happy. Am I missing something in life? I want to be just another college student who doesn't give a fuck and enter the corporate world with misery.
I use to think living by the rules meant I was stronger than others who fell into temptation. Now I don't know anymore. Maybe I was the foolish one.
[Music Shane Nicholson, "Designed To Fade" (Live)]
What the hell are morals for? Do I really care if my friends look down on me or don't want to talk to me again?
I've been thinking. Why can't I fuck like a slut? Why can't I drink myself to death and barf on my room mate's bed sheets? Why can't I become a druggie? Why can't I live life dangerously, carelessly, recklessly, hopelessly?
That is not who I want to be, but am I missing out on something for being so damn uptight that I won't even smoke a fucking cigarette? That I won't drink an ounce of vodka at the moment? That I won't just fucking give up my virginity (or did I already)?
I don't understand why I have these morals anymore. They don't make me happy. Am I missing something in life? I want to be just another college student who doesn't give a fuck and enter the corporate world with misery.
I use to think living by the rules meant I was stronger than others who fell into temptation. Now I don't know anymore. Maybe I was the foolish one.
2 Comments:
At 3/20/2005 11:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
I sometimes wonder about that. Well the parts about morals... "fucking like a slut" isn't exactly something guys have the liberty to do.
Now in the terms of moral values of not smoking nor drinking, it is a choice guided by what we learned in the past which guides us.
I had made a comment about that... how should I put it.. lifestyle and was told thats because we are in college. I presume alcohol is the key to blur our 'values' and 'limitations' to let us unleash what we really want.
Is it right? Should we follow the croud? I don't know... it just seems better.
-awdark
At 3/29/2005 5:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
It's nice to know there's others out there like me. People who don't hook up randomly and stand by their reasons for not drinking and smoking and other dumb college stuff. What really keeps us from doing these activities? Sometimes I do wish I would just do something like get drunk or just lose my virginity and get it over with. Does dating someone for a year mean you have to go all the way yet? Is there such thing as a time limit? There are others like you out in the world. Even though we're probably in the minority, and we don't broadcast this kinda stuff to the world.
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