"Rush, Rush"
[Music Brie Larson, "She Said"]

This is a moment of weakness.

I can't stop myself from overloading myself with work. It may be for distraction, but at the same time, I'm striving toward graduation. I just can't fathom myself not taking on a class when I know I can if I spent more time studying. There's this line in "Empire Records" which I don't believe, "There are 24 usable hours in a day."

What I'm afraid of is what happens after graduation. What if there's nothing to strive for? What if all I hold in one hand is documents that I completed college, then what? What if I never find a job in the cutthroat, competitive world? Or what if I find a job I hate?

Sigh.. I wish I could just relax and bask in the sunlight, but I can't. I know I will regret and hate myself if I don't take the classes. It's not my nature at the moment to sit back and I don't know why. I'm here to work, right? It's not a frat, it's college.

"It's a long way down / But you can't walk the wire for anybody else / I might hit the ground / But at least I'll have a story to tell / He said... I gotta find out for myself."