"Things were getting to me. Just how people are. How they always expect you to be a certain way, even your best friend."
[Music || Nelly Furtado, "Try"]
A quote from Angela Chase.
I don't know why I ever hesitated to purchase "My So-Called Life." Goodness knows how it would've affected my high school angst. Every character has an aspect of realism. High school sucked. I wished I had caught on sooner. The price was worth it. Everybody keeps trying to discover themselves in high school, but right when you think you've figured it out, you aren't so sure anymore. Parents just didn't understand. Damn ABC for axing it.
So today in Speech, I should've volunteered to go up for this 2 minute rambling on our favorite relatives. I don't know why I didn't volunteer. A girl picked a random number later in the class, and it turned out to be me. I sensed it. I don't know how I do, but I can always tell when I'm about to be called on, etc. So, I went up and rambled on about my aunt. It made me realized how sad I am that we're drifting apart. When I was at home during break, whenever she visited it, I was on my computer most of the time. She's been working a lot too so we rarely have time to see each other. I guess I'm just growing as a person and I start seeing things in a different perspective than I use to. That's how conflict of interest comes to be.
Kit called yesterday and asked if I wanted to head down with him in a couple weeks, down to LA. I said yes, but now that I look over my schedule, I don't think I can make it. My Biology test is on Monday, the weekend I come back. Whenever I know I have a test for a subject I'm not particularly strong in, I BURY myself in the library to force myself to cram whatever I can into my dysfunctional mind. After the studying, I feel like everything I studied was wrong. Is this crazy/obsessive/borderline perfectionist? I don't think I'm a perfectionist, but I hate the feeling of failing an exam I KNOW I could've studied more for. Our first exam was last week. So far, so good. After all, I paid $90 for the book and my parents are paying for my education here. The least I could do is sacrifice a weekend in the musky, dead-silence library. I love the library on weekends, it has this eery feeling to it. I hate telling Kit I can't go... it just sucks canceling. Still, even if I head back and come back, the next weekend I'll be flying home for Spring Break anywho..
Today when I was walking back from class, I was thinking about how we're all turning 19 (or already are).. We're about to be 20. I feeling I'm growing up too fast. It scares me. When I watch "My So-Called Life," I relate to the characters but it scares me how pretty soon, I'm no longer a TEENAGER. I don't want to be an adult... I want to be a teen who can be rude and obnoxious because we can. It's kinda a stereotype, but I like being goofy because I know my age allows me to. I dunno what I'm talking about... I'm just scared about growing older.
This post didn't really make any sense, nor was it suppose to.
[Music || Nelly Furtado, "Try"]
A quote from Angela Chase.
I don't know why I ever hesitated to purchase "My So-Called Life." Goodness knows how it would've affected my high school angst. Every character has an aspect of realism. High school sucked. I wished I had caught on sooner. The price was worth it. Everybody keeps trying to discover themselves in high school, but right when you think you've figured it out, you aren't so sure anymore. Parents just didn't understand. Damn ABC for axing it.
So today in Speech, I should've volunteered to go up for this 2 minute rambling on our favorite relatives. I don't know why I didn't volunteer. A girl picked a random number later in the class, and it turned out to be me. I sensed it. I don't know how I do, but I can always tell when I'm about to be called on, etc. So, I went up and rambled on about my aunt. It made me realized how sad I am that we're drifting apart. When I was at home during break, whenever she visited it, I was on my computer most of the time. She's been working a lot too so we rarely have time to see each other. I guess I'm just growing as a person and I start seeing things in a different perspective than I use to. That's how conflict of interest comes to be.
Kit called yesterday and asked if I wanted to head down with him in a couple weeks, down to LA. I said yes, but now that I look over my schedule, I don't think I can make it. My Biology test is on Monday, the weekend I come back. Whenever I know I have a test for a subject I'm not particularly strong in, I BURY myself in the library to force myself to cram whatever I can into my dysfunctional mind. After the studying, I feel like everything I studied was wrong. Is this crazy/obsessive/borderline perfectionist? I don't think I'm a perfectionist, but I hate the feeling of failing an exam I KNOW I could've studied more for. Our first exam was last week. So far, so good. After all, I paid $90 for the book and my parents are paying for my education here. The least I could do is sacrifice a weekend in the musky, dead-silence library. I love the library on weekends, it has this eery feeling to it. I hate telling Kit I can't go... it just sucks canceling. Still, even if I head back and come back, the next weekend I'll be flying home for Spring Break anywho..
Today when I was walking back from class, I was thinking about how we're all turning 19 (or already are).. We're about to be 20. I feeling I'm growing up too fast. It scares me. When I watch "My So-Called Life," I relate to the characters but it scares me how pretty soon, I'm no longer a TEENAGER. I don't want to be an adult... I want to be a teen who can be rude and obnoxious because we can. It's kinda a stereotype, but I like being goofy because I know my age allows me to. I dunno what I'm talking about... I'm just scared about growing older.
This post didn't really make any sense, nor was it suppose to.
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