"Update"
[Music || JoJo, "Leave (Get Out)"]
So, here I am once again. Who could've known that as we grow older, things become more tumultuous?
It's kind of weird coming back home. It feels like my one year in school was a daydream. Alas, I miss parts of it; the experience, the people, the independence. What a learning experience! Now I'm back and soaking in the sunshine.
I revisited SGHS yesterday with Ileanna. Times have changed; I don't even remember how crowded high school was, when I thought I knew everything. I revisited "The Matador," remembering the deadlines we had. Deadlines will always be deadlines. I also paid a short visit to Mme Arscott. It was cool to get an update on the school.
Now here's what I wanted to blog about. Coming back, I didn't realize that as I was changing and discovering myself, so were my friends. Lots of things happen in one year. Lots. I had a heart-to-heart talk with Helen and lots were talked about. Our aspirations and dreams, our struggles and our hopes for the future.
Talking about this scared me. In 1 year, I'll be 20. In 10, I'll be 30. That's old. And I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I mean, I thought I had something going on but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I'm really the type who's naive and doesn't know what a relationship is. I mean, I can't even tell when people like me until they tell me they do. And what I think is a buddling relationship, is more of a hallucination. Kind of like the movie I borrowed called "Abandon."
Oh well... that's why I vow to be alone and shut myself away from everyone. I don't need anybody because that relationship parp is hard work, confusing, and it takes too much time. So, I've decided this a while ago, why not enjoy the company of myself? The one person who really knows me.
It's selfish and pathetic, but I hella like it. Why be mad at others who don't understand me? Why waste time on losers? Why put time in? Why make myself feel sad when I don't need that?
From now on, I'll shut them out. It's lust than love now, even though I don't think I can tell the difference.
[Music || JoJo, "Leave (Get Out)"]
So, here I am once again. Who could've known that as we grow older, things become more tumultuous?
It's kind of weird coming back home. It feels like my one year in school was a daydream. Alas, I miss parts of it; the experience, the people, the independence. What a learning experience! Now I'm back and soaking in the sunshine.
I revisited SGHS yesterday with Ileanna. Times have changed; I don't even remember how crowded high school was, when I thought I knew everything. I revisited "The Matador," remembering the deadlines we had. Deadlines will always be deadlines. I also paid a short visit to Mme Arscott. It was cool to get an update on the school.
Now here's what I wanted to blog about. Coming back, I didn't realize that as I was changing and discovering myself, so were my friends. Lots of things happen in one year. Lots. I had a heart-to-heart talk with Helen and lots were talked about. Our aspirations and dreams, our struggles and our hopes for the future.
Talking about this scared me. In 1 year, I'll be 20. In 10, I'll be 30. That's old. And I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I mean, I thought I had something going on but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I'm really the type who's naive and doesn't know what a relationship is. I mean, I can't even tell when people like me until they tell me they do. And what I think is a buddling relationship, is more of a hallucination. Kind of like the movie I borrowed called "Abandon."
Oh well... that's why I vow to be alone and shut myself away from everyone. I don't need anybody because that relationship parp is hard work, confusing, and it takes too much time. So, I've decided this a while ago, why not enjoy the company of myself? The one person who really knows me.
It's selfish and pathetic, but I hella like it. Why be mad at others who don't understand me? Why waste time on losers? Why put time in? Why make myself feel sad when I don't need that?
From now on, I'll shut them out. It's lust than love now, even though I don't think I can tell the difference.
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